2008 Travels in Review

I don't think I've ever spent so much of New Year's Eve day utterly shocked that the year in over. In some ways, 2008 has felt like the longest year ever, but in other ways it's been a whirlwind. As far as my travels go, I managed to squeeze in a good amount in 08.

As usual, I kicked off the year heading to NYC for the glitz and glamour of Times Square and the Adrian Awards. I probably made at least a half dozen trips to Florida's Gulf Islands of Anna Maria, Longboat Key and Bradenton throughout the year... partly for fun, partly for work (my work is fun so it counts either way!). I celebrated my 20 year anniversary in Charleston in April (my first time there and loved it). 

Over the summer, I hit Gainesville and the University of Florida on the way to New York, Connecticut and Maine. September boasted a return to my alma mater, Syracuse University. October included a work-related focus group in Orlando and back again in November for a press check. November proved to be a busy travel month with a jaunt up to Panama City Beach for a new client presentation and then a weekend in Jersey/New York for my grandmother's 90th birthday. December rounded it out with a relaxing weekend back in Anna Maria Island for Taryn's 17th.

My goal was to travel at least once a quarter and to visit a couple new places. I accomplished both! 2009 already has travel on the books with Panama City Beach, Bradenton, New York City and Tampa for the Superbowl all scheduled for January! My resolution for 09... keep traveling while I still love it and I still can! If you missed out on any of my travel posts from 08, just browse through the archives for all the adventure. Thanks for reading and for all your comments... Happy New Year and Happy Travels!

Oh Natural Florida

The little secret gem that my agency has the privilege of marketing is Florida's Gulf Islands. I have posted about this destination before, and this, my friends, will not be my last by a long shot. In fact, I am past due to post pictures and anecdotes from my daughter's 17th birthday trip this month. However, I am bursting at the seams (not only from Christmas goodies) to tell you to order one of the 2009 Visitors Guide that yours truly and her talented cohorts produced. The book is environmentally friendly, printed on recycled FSC certified paper, and promotes the authentic, old Florida experience of Anna Maria Island, Longboat Key, Bradenton and Lakewood Ranch.

And, the cover shot is of our web marketing partner, Jennifer Barbee's, precious daughters discovering a baby sea turtle on the beach. SO adorable.

Go to www.FloridasGulfIslands.com and order your very own (or be green and view it online).

The Cushings Go Out West

Gene asks me at least once a week if I have started planning the summer trip yet. I blogged about this trip back in July. Wow, where did the rest of the year go? Since this is the summer before Taryn's senior year in high school (when the only thing on our minds will be college planning), he wants to take her out west to see all the famous American sites before she is "gone." Our family has traveled to every state up and down the eastern seaboard, from Maine to New York to Vermont to the Carolinas and, of course, our home state of Florida. But westward we have not conquered as a family beyond one trip to Lake Tahoe nearly 10 years ago.

The most pressing issue (now that a tentative itinerary has been established) is the accommodations. Gene wants me to write letters to all the hotel chains and tell them about our trip, and ask them to give us a cross country "discount." Not a bad idea actually. So I started thinking... in my line of work, tourism organizations are beginning to step up to the online plate. For my own clients, we are strategizing and implementing online travel blogs, trip tiks, personal vacation stories, photo uploading, video journals, and social media like facebook and twitter. In today's competitive travel market, destinations, hoteliers, and travel partners must tell a more personal story to potential travelers - one people can connect with. Social marketing is a key component. Why not be my own example? 

Here's my idea - the Cushings create a "real family" story, traveling all over western America and blogging, shooting, and videoing our trip... all for a single hotel chain to use for their marketing purposes. We have great demographics - early to mid forties, married 20 years, teenage college bound daughter, one parent a police officer, one parent a small business owner, we even have a small dog who is coming along. And, we all LOVE to travel together. Brilliant, I say. Any takers out there? Marriott? Best Western? Holiday Inn? Anyone? Anyone?

Beach Ball Drop

My next trip to Panama City Beach, Florida, will be in early January for work (yeah right), which means I will miss their first annual New Year's Eve Beach Ball Drop and all the festivities happening on the Beach Lovers' Beach. : (

But I wanted to pass along the link to the PC Beach New Year's website page we just launched, should any of you adventurous travelers want to be spontaneous and hit the panhandle this New Year's. 

Check it out at: www.panamacitybeachnewyears.com.

MTVu Spring Break site launches

I am obviously not a college student anymore, but these days I hang around with hoards of them. As an advisor for Chi Omega sorority at FGCU, and having a 17 year old daughter, I found myself in just the right mindset to help create a Spring Break microsite (mini website) for Panama City Beach, Florida. The new site launched earlier this week and can be viewed at: www.pcbeachspringbreak.com.

What I like most about the site is that it has all the current, "hip" ways to be in touch about Spring Break, including links to Facebook, My Space, Twitter and a mobile feed application, "PCB Insider." How much easier could it be to keep track of the latest events and tips for potential Spring Breakers? And, of course, with just about every site my agency develops, there is a sweepstakes for a free trip. So, friends, if you are young (at heart) and want to hit the beach this March, sign up to win. Why? Because I said so!

Thankful for travel

With Thanksgiving just behind us, many people have spent time reflecting on what they are thankful for. In our family, we have a Thanksgiving day tradition of going around the table and sharing what we are thankful for before the glutinous behavior begins. It is a tradition my family began with my cousin's family about 10 years ago. In fact, aside from Uncle Gene starting a fire by burning the marshmallows atop the sweet potato pie, it tops the list of Thanksgiving day rituals (just ask my nephew Devon, who announced that on the school news this year!).

How does this tie in with travel, you ask? As a New York transplant, the holidays are a time of year I always consider traveling. Should we go up north for Christmas this year? That is usually the first question. The next question, where will Taryn and I go for her birthday this year? (2008 answer: Anna Maria Island) It also happens to be about the time I start to plan my annual trip in January to NYC for a big awards gala. During this trip, I often try to kill 2 birds by bringing my daughter and friends, or hooking up for dinner and a show with my sister and brother-in-law, or reuniting for a meal with my sorority sisters from college, or museum and gallery-hopping with my work buddies. My excuses to travel into the New Year are endless.

The topic of travel always seems to come up during conversations this time of year. I dunno, maybe it's just like when you buy a Mercedes, you suddenly see a million of them on the road. Or when you are pregnant, every woman you see is also with child. (Very important side note: neither of those two items are anywhere in my future.) This past weekend, my mother, daughter and I discussed wanting to go to the Macy's Day parade one of these years (my daughter actually wants to be IN it, not just attend it). And, when a few high school friends coordinated a get together at the old village watering hole in Fishkill, I was completely jealous that I wasn't heading north for Turkey Day! I also got all warm and fuzzy when I saw the many photos being posted on Facebook of friends traveling to see their family, all in order to be together and give thanks. 

Why is it that I am so in love with traveling? What does it do for me? And why does the itch get so strong around the holidays? Well, I recently read an article that answered it all for me (trust me, it's worth the read: "Best letter to the editor" on Budget Travel). For me, travel is about experiencing the beauty of this great planet alongside people I want to share my life's memories with. It's a microcosm of Marianne's perfect world... a small moment in time when I am the happiest, seeking authentic and sometimes spiritual experiences while connecting with my most important people. And, it goes without saying, it is also entirely related to great food and festive celebrations that may include colorful beverages. 

I am thankful to have discovered the meaningfulness of travel as it pertains to me. I hope that your year ahead is full of thanks, giving and travel!

Traveling to Cemeteries

This may sound bizarre, but I find old cemeteries beautiful. And now that I think about it, many of my travels have included cemetery visits. Even to cemeteries where I have no kin buried... that I know of, anyway.

Last weekend, I visited Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in North Tarrytown, N.Y. (actually now the town of Sleepy Hollow, but it was called North Tarrytown when I grew up there). It is the place we laid my father's ashes a year ago this November. As bitter cold as it was last year when we held his memorial service (a year after his death), the stunning beauty of it won't escape my mind. On this visit, the same chilling wind started to blow the minute we stepped out of the car. My sister, niece and I were sure it was Dad displaying his discontent that we took him out of Florida. After much consideration (a year!), my sisters and I chose the family plot where lies his parents, sister, our unborn brother T.J. and a laundry list of relatives on both sides of the familia.

When I was looking at the photos I took both last year and this, I noticed how my camera roamed away from the family plot to the rows of headstones, the stone walls, the arching trees and the bridges and streams. Sitting at my laptop at my kitchen counter, I can look up to see a pastel drawing I did of a headstone from a New Orleans cemetery. 

The overwhelming feeling I get in a cemetery is a deep-seeded connection to family. I find myself wandering the headstones looking for last names that are familiar. Perhaps it is some genetic predisposition from my Italian heritage and I am simply carrying out the annual tradition. Every November 1st and 2nd, Italians go in unison to the local cimitero to place chrysanthemum plants at the graves of their family members. This can be an all day event, depending on the number of relatives they have to visit. From what I've read, many of the tombs are architectural wonders, and all have a photo of the deceased.

My favorite cemeteries aside from Sleepy Hollow include the one in New Orleans where the movie Double Jeopardy with Ashley Judd was filmed. My description of the N.O. cemetery is old, French and kinda mysterious. Walking through it takes some dexterity, as the paths jutt with stone in a slightly less than symmetrical pattern. The uniqueness and oddity of this cemetary is that it is an above ground cemetery (yes the bodies are in the tombs above the ground not below). Another is one I love I came across in Simsbury, Connecticut the year my friend Christine was married. I'll never forget the grandeur of the center entrance that slopes up a long, luscious green path lined with some kind of juniper bushes from which rows to the left and right are perfectly spaced with headstones. Nestled in the center of a "Colonial" style village, it made me feel very patriotic.

Aside from the beauty, there is a solitude about it. There's a silence that comes over you. As you read the names and the stories of the families on the headstones, there is a feeling of history and respect for those who rest there. I hope I have not creeped you out with my cemetery confession, and maybe, just maybe, there are others of you who find old cemeteries fascinating. 

Carry On, Schmarry On

Traditionally I check my bag. This past weekend when I took a quick trip to Newark, I decided to carry on to save the $15 from US Airways. Lo and behold, I managed to fit it all in (surprisingly) and even eliminate the liquids as I was going to my sister's house so I could borrow everything.

The problem? Well, with everyone else having the same idea, by the time I boarded, every overhead compartment was full all the way to the front of the plane. Seemed a bit unfair since I was in row 12, so the back of the plane people had used our compartments on their way by. I did the math, each overhead accommodated 2 rows of 3 seats, but only fits 3 carry-ons, thus if over 50% of people carry-on, your bag won't fit. Hmmmph! It made me want to "cheat" and get on before I was called to get my fair space. I hope they come up with a better solution!

Sorry for the soap box! I feel better now.

Peace, Love, PC Beach

The Florida Panhandle has been on my bucket list for 20 years now. I finally made it. It was a whirlwind trip for me and my partner Kimberly, up and back in 2 days with a presentation to the TDC (Tourist Development Council) and a celebratory dinner wedged in between. Our agency partnered again with Jennifer Barbee, Inc. out of Corpus Christi, Texas to pursue the Panama City Beach account. The sixteen hours on the road proved fruitful, as we were named the destination's Internet Agency.

Panama City Beach is the epitome of beach fun. Huge, and I mean huge, amounts of blindingly white, soft, powdery sand in every direction and expansive views of the Gulf is only the beginning. 27 miles of both towering condo hotels and walk out style motels line the coast. Here, the events never cease, from concerts to food festivals to fishing tourneys to the Iron Man triathlon to motorcycle rallies and more! The new 93 acre Pier Park boasts over 100 retail stores and dining establishments for endless entertainment.

We stayed at Origin at Seahaven - the 2 bedroom suite was very large and had incredible water and beach views. We tried to read the writing on the sand that someone had sketched out, but couldn't make it out. Sharky's across the street was our choice for dinner, and they poured a mean Grey Goose and Cranberry. The fish tacos were delicious, with salsa and cole slaw atop the blackened Mahi. The adorable waitress Bri even entertained us with a karaoke stint. I tried to talk Jenn into a performance, to no avail. She was probably worried the local bloggers might speak freely of her talent limitations (LOL). The cold sand between my toes as we frolicked off the deck of the restaurant after dinner was invigorating!

I got enough of a taste of PC Beach to make me want more. The adventure ahead for our team includes developing a whole new website for the destination which will replace the current www.visitpanamacitybeach.com, as well as a Spring Break microsite for the MTV university event. This will NOT be boring by any means. And, you know how we creatives are, we have to totally immerse ourselves in the project to come up with innovative ideas. That means more trips are in store. Rough life, huh?

World's Best Caesar Salad

I spent a few minutes on www.atthemeadow.com, which is a website for The Meadow, a store in Portland, Oregon that my friend Jessica came upon during a recent conference. It's a salt, chocolate and wine specialty store and restaurant that I plan to blog more about in a later post. Today I want to discuss Caesar salad.

I have been making and sharing my Uncle Paul's Caesar Dressing recipe for nearly 2 decades. It is always on the menu at our annual Christmas Eve dinner (last year we had 116 guests). I claim this recipe to be the best around, a fierce and garlicky run in with your palate. While browsing one of the 3 blogs located on The Meadow's site, I stumbled upon a post about the Hale Caesar Salad and his claim of it being the World's Best. As I disclaim on my blog homepage, I am not a chef, nor a culinary expert. I am, however, a "healthy" Italian who loves food nearly as much as her family.

My dressing has none of the requirements of Hale's with regards to quality of ingredients. This, I may have to rethink. Maybe I can take my Uncle Paul's recipe to the next level. I never gave thought to the quality, brand or type of ingredients, with the exception of the grated cheese. Maybe after seeing his recipe, I will. I was amazed at how similar our contents are, regardless of how different the execution. In fact, the only ingredient uncommon is the vinegar he uses.

I doubt I will use Hale's recipe in its entirety, but I do thank him for opening my mind to improving mine. Hale's recipe you can link to find, and here is mine (sorry, but I don't measure). Whichever you use, manga!

In blender, combine:

1 can flat anchovies in oil

3 heaping tablespoons good grated pecorino romano (no Kraft allowed)

1/4 cup olive oil

1-2 tablespoons lemon juice

a few twists of ground black pepper

2-3 cloves of crushed garlic (no jarred garlic allowed)

In a bowl, mix one raw egg into the dressing using a fork. Toss with 1-2 heads of romaine lettuce and sprinkle with more grated cheese. Croutons and fresh sliced mushrooms are optional. To stretch the dressing into a larger batch, add more oil and, if desired, a second can of anchovies.

Let me know what you think!

Pulse Park

I don't usually like to regurgitate articles I read into my blog (I like them to be original, one-of-a-kind, because I said so not because someone else said so entries), but this one made my heart race. Although I will be extremely close to my fave city in November at my sister's in Jersey, I will not have the time to swing into Manhattan to see Pulse Park. Hopefully, some of you will be, especially those of my friends who live in the Big Apple. 

If you get a chance, check out this U.S. debut exhibit by artist Rafael Lozano-Hemmer. It's an interactive light installation that activates YOUR heartbeat along with 199 others and creates a pulsing matrix of light! How awesome does that sound???

All you have to do is go to Madison Square Park, place your hands on a metal sensor for 15 seconds, then watch your heartbeat pulse across the lawn. Yeah baby, that is cool. Click here for more info.

Blood Sweat & Tears

Every year, our good friends Dr. Kai Chow and Reiko Niiya Chow invite us to be their guests at the annual Edison Pops @ Sunset Concert on the lawn of Edison College. Reiko is the Concertmaster for the Southwest Florida Symphony, and also plays in the Pops Orchestra. A violinist since childhood, Reiko is one of those women who are both poised yet strong, understated yet noticable. Perhaps it was her traditional upbringing in Japan that gives her such a timeless quality. On the 25th anniversary with the SWFS, I watched her play an extremely difficult Tchaikovsky piece for nearly 45 minutes. Having known her personally now for a number of years, it is a true honor to see her talent unfold on stage.

Even though Reiko plays with the greats at the Ford Theatre, she still knows how to have fun with her music. This night, she accompanied Blood Sweat and Tears through the sixties and seventies as crowds danced in the rain on the lawn. The annual fundraiser is a time where my husband and I get to share an evening with the Chows and their friends listening to music and sharing a great meal. We enjoyed Reiko's lasagna and Gene's recent attempt at fried chicken, along with the flow of some vino.

At the table this year, myself, Gene and Taryn; Kai; his son Michael and girlfriend; Kai's longtime office assistant and her husband; and the notable Michael Hall, Music Director and Conductor of the Symphony. Maestro Michael just made the permanent move to Fort Myers after commuting for the past couple years since his induction with the Symphony. Highlights of the evening included seeing the Chows' unofficially adopted son David Song play with the orchestra on a visit from Stetson; running into artist Jim Ferrari and his wife as well as Steve and Lou Pontius (a fellow Chi Omega Advisor); and dancing the final song, Spinning Wheel, with my tennis partner, Gina, and a few of my crazy teammates.

I love the cultural side of Fort Myers.

Another Excuse for NYC

I know, I know. I always talk about NYC. Well, it's my blog and I can write if I want to, write if I want to. Yesterday I received the "unofficial" news that my agency will be receiving five international awards this year from the largest tourism organization in the world, Hospitality Sales and Marketing Association International. This brings us to 30 of these "Adrian" awards to date. This year's winnings are the most we have ever won in a single year. What does all this mean, you ask?

It means we get another excuse to go to my FAVE city... Manhattan!!! It's in January at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square. In years past, we have stayed in various locales, from Park Avenue to Grand Central to upper East side. The most convenient, however, is to stay right at the Marriott, so we only have to take the elevator to our room after the banquet. It makes up for the crazed tourists all over TS. The rotating bar for a nightcap is a nice ending too.

The planning is just beginning and the wheels are already spinning. Haven't been to Angelo's in a while (Lil Italy), and I would LOVE to have lunch with my Bro-in-law at Mark Joseph (I can taste the steak melting in my mouth), and that cute little inexpensive sushi joint, Blu Chili may see me again too. Aside from food, what do I want this year? Definitely a visit with some of the local Chi Omega sistahs, a return visit to the Met with my partner in crime Kimberly, maybe a stop at Swarovski's at Rock Center, and perhaps something I've never done before. What could that be?

I've done the Museum of Natural History, Met and MOMA, done SoHo and the village, done 5th ave, done Chinatown, done Central Park, done Wall Street, done Top of the Rock and the Empire State Bldg, done Rockefeller Center and the Today Show, done South Street Seaport, done Union Square, done Mama Mia, Producers, Wicked and Hairspray, done Frederick Fekkai's (spa). I've stayed away from the Statue cuz it's cold in January and have yet to bring myself to Ground Zero. Anyone have any suggestions?

Philly Sounds Fab

Philly PA, a city that has never been on my travel radar - until recently. A little mention by my college roomie Jenn when we were at our reunion at SU that I should come to Philly to visit her seemed to spark a chain of awareness. Then, another college friend mentions her daughter wants to join our sorority at the college she attends in Lancaster PA, Franklin & Marshall. Then my sister mentions that my nephew wants to attend Penn State. To top it off, the same nephew is playing in a soccer tourney in Philly the weekend I am up north for my grandmother's 90th birthday party in November. 

So this ex-New Yorker, who has zero understanding of the geography of Pennsylvania, does a little google mapping to see what's what and where's where. Penn State - 3 hours from Philly, Lancaster - about an hour and a half. My sister's house in Jersey - also an hour and a half. What is it about this city that keeps popping up? And is it worth a closer look for this travel obsessed girl? 

I found a travel website, www.gophila.com, that is chock full of Philly fun. There, I learned there are 4 counties in Philly, one of which is Chester where Jenn lives. Chester is an historic district that was established by William Penn and is home to the first stop on the freedom train. A notable site that caught my eye - the Brandywine River Museum... also known as the Wyeth Museum because of the abundance of 3 generations of Wyeth works (Andrew Wyeth - a fave artist of mine). According to Jenn, her city of Phoenixville is 45 min west of Philly and is seeing a resurgence in the downtown Bridge Street area. Something else she mentioned of interest (to me anyway), microbreweries are big in Philly!

Which leads me to food (doesn't everything?). On www.philly.com, I watched a video on Wine and Cheesesteak. Can you say, yummy? The news segment highlighted area sandwiches paired with a wine, including italian pork and fried fish. This alone may be worth the trip.

If I will get to Philly in November is still up in the air, but regardless, this looks like a place to put on my bucket list - could be a potential girlie trip.

Voted Favorite Travel Blog!

"Because I Said So" by moi, little ole Mare Cushing, has been voted a favorite travel blog by her peers and fans! Really, you ask? No not really. Not yet anyway. But if you looove my blog, please vote for it at http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/categories/25. And do it soon, cuz they are going to announce the winner on Oct. 16th.

Thanks! Mare

Armory Square

As much as I love small towns, I also love to explore downtowns... especially old ones. During my college reunion weekend at Syracuse University, the fam and I wandered the brick-filled streets of Armory Square. It was morning and we went in search of breakfast, and found one little cafe serving the eggs and pancakes we were craving. 

In old downtowns, there is always an apparent contradiction. Overpriced boutiques and sushi bars sharing real estate with nightclubs and street people. This old square had it's own charm on this Fall morning, as the aging brick, flower boxes and peeling signs were the backdrop to a car crash, an artists' display and a street protest of squatters. We enjoyed a rare morning of sunshine in Syracuse capturing some moments in Armory Square, from a man smoking a pipe on his laptop outside Starbucks to a bar worker coming out to hose off the smelly concrete from the prior eve.

Win A Trip to Anna Maria Island!

You know how much I love to travel, and you know how much I love a good deal. Well, here's something that has both. I can't take advantage of this opportunity, but you can! Florida's Gulf Islands is a wonderful Old Florida beach destination about an hour and a half north of my home. My agency has had the privilege of being the advertising agency for Manatee County for about 2 years now. We have had so much fun this past year developing some amazing online vacation promotions to coincide with our new site design. 

For this Fall, we came up with a custom vacation giveaway, where you can register to win a trip that you create yourself. It includes a free hotel stay at Tradewinds Resort on Anna Maria Island, a charming cottage-style getaway in Bradenton Beach. Then, you get to add-on 5 additional vacation experiences, including spa, dining, shopping, rentals and tours! The créme de la créme - you can forward it to 5 friends and if one of them wins, then you win the trip too!!! Damn, I'm brilliant (as are my biz partners and our highly talented team)!

Simply go to Florida's Gulf Islands and click on the bright red-orange button to register. After you're done, browse around the site we designed and see if you can spot anyone you know... we always torture our friends and family by making them be in photo shoots. Good luck!

A Moment in Time

I just took a wild ride on a time machine to the late 80's. The place: Syracuse University. The reason: My 20 year college reunion (shocking, I know) combined with homecoming weekend and a get together with my Chi Omega sisters. The Fam went with, and our teenage daughter Taryn was dismayed that hubby Gene and I had so much trouble getting our bearings. In fact, we were so disoriented, it took a lot of winding and weaving in the rental car to find the campus. When we finally arrived and parked in Booth Hall garage, we had to ask the parking attendant for a campus map so we could figure out which way to go to get to the quad.

C'mon now, I told her, it's been over 20 years. Many buildings have been added was my other excuse. As the memories came rolling back, and the scenery started to take a familiar course, I got my groove back and navigated the campus to show my little one the buildings I had classes in, the library where I bought cigarettes to keep me up during all-nighters, the bookstore and the creme de la creme, Crouse College... the College of Visual and Performing Arts.

My husband, who was my fiancé at the time, told Taryn about the nude figure drawing classes I took him to and I told her while we climbed the winding staircase that the only thing missing inside the beautiful old building was the smell of clove cigarettes. Taryn and I paused to listen to an opera singer practicing behind a closed door. The drawings adorning the walls and the kids sprawled in the halls made me feel nostalgic for the days of art school.

The weekend was a flood of memories, from stories told between us Chi O sisters… to a game in the Dome (all it took was a little Chi O love for the football team to win one!)… to a couple cold ones at Maggie's… to visits to my old apartments and dorm (which look exactly the same). A tour of the Chi Omega house was a sentimental and sad experience, as our chapter no longer exists at SU and our house is occupied by another sorority. They were gracious enough to grant us a tour, and we even managed a peek at the dormer on the third floor.

While some things have changed, others have not. Those items that time cannot erase: frisbee on the lawn by fraternity row, the blast of air that sends you scurrying out the doors of the carrier dome, the color orange worn proudly, a citrusy little mascot, students scattered on the quad, dollar slices at the Varsity, $3 pitchers, institutions like Chuck's, Maggie's, and Faegan's, sweatshirts from Manny's, and, ultimately, the bond formed between sisters.

Syracuse University gave me much more than an incredible education, it gave me a meaningful career, a lifelong sisterhood and an alma mater I am still proud of.